Feminism vs Patriarchy: Is the evolution of women destabilising marriages?

Power relations between men and women 

Is feminism really destabilising marriages or men are intimidated by strong women? Is the evolution of women the number one cause of broken homes or men are turned off by their inability to control alpha women?

It is of no doubt that feminism has resulted in colossal changes in our society, with marriage not being an exception. It’s ironic that man claim to love self-driven, independent and confident women yet when they get confronted with such a creature reverence often evolves into resent. How man desire strong women until that woman flexes her muscles and projects her voice. Suddenly, she is too much and she has lost her place.

You see, our society has birthed a generation of men who do not know the difference between respect and fear, submission and slavery, humility and stupidity. And we as women have fallen prey because from a young age we are taught that ‘men are gold, if you find one you are the lucky one’. That it doesn’t matter if he beats you up or has other woman because the value of a woman is in having a man and we have to do whatever it takes, no matter the situation or consequences, to keep him.

 We have to endure physically abusive, emotionally absent and financially depriving spouses. We have to dim our lights, compromise our careers, friendships and leisure just to keep peace at home.

And now, now that we are enlightened and well informed, realising that men do not hold keys to doors and windows of freedom, self -identity and expression, suddenly the evolution of women is falsely accused of destabilising marriages.

I mean, is marriage an institution that entails subjugation and oppression? Is it an expression of love between two people or it is a legally and socially sanctioned institution that seeks to benefit men at the expense of women? Because when we raise our voices about what we want and aspire to be, we are deemed disrespectful.

Well, if marriage cannot stand the test of equality, if marriage is built on subjugation and oppression of women, then I’m happy to see that institution collapse. Because as long as patriarchy is alive and thriving, marriage will continue to be inherently hostile to women. 

We have reduced marriage to an absolute milestone, a rite of passage. It has become a state of servitude to the man that pays my bride price. So in other words, society is telling us that we have to appreciate being picked among the many, do what it takes to keep our homes regardless of the consequences and spend the rest of our lives performing emotional and physical labour as payback?

Dear men, marriage is not a forum of power demonstrations.

Dear women, the biggest mistake we could ever do is to remove jewels from our crowns to make it easier for men to carry. Sweetheart, you do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands.

Don’t get it twisted people, love is a beautiful thing. Marry the right person for the right reasons.

XOXO