Appearance Matters

By Persistance Muunga

I know this post may ruffle some feathers but my intention is not to upset anyone. I know talking about appearance can be a touchy subject because no one wants to be judged solely by the way they look, nor should they. This is because attraction is defined by many things that go beyond the superficial and I get that. Looks are superficial and physical attraction is subjecttive. But as shallow as it may sound, looks do matter. Being presentable is essential. I know admitting that looks matter can make many people feel uncomfortable. It may seem a little archaic and a bit narcissistic to focus on anything as superficial as physical appearance. And if that is your only concern, it would be.

Of course beauty is fleeting but yes, appearance does matter. Just not in the way you think. I am very much aware of the feminist movement of how women are exploited and overly objectified by the media. I am aware that it is not right for women to feel the need to be overly concerned with vanity due to the pressures of our superficial society. However, there is truth in needing to look good for your well-being, as well as the perception of other people. Again, not in the way you think.

Don’t hate me just yet but yes appearance matters and that is fact of life. I’m not talking about you wanting to be a supermodel to be liked. What I’m talking about is that how you are perceived by others is based on how you present yourself. It’s no secret that people are attracted to what they see. Even Nelson Asuen in his book ‘Why good girls remain single’ stated that character is not all that matters and in most cases beauty or presentability comes first before character. That no matter how it is re-echoed that people should not judge books by their covers, that is the exact same thing that is happening. The truth is, the container of a product is just as important as the content. Lacking packaging sense and thinking good character will cover for it is a recipe for disaster.

If you ask me, appearance is an indication of self-respect. How you look says a lot about who you are and how you feel about yourself. Staying physically fit, being well groomed and dressing appropriately are indications that you respect and feel good about yourself and you want to present yourself in the best way. Of course, these are not the only measures of self-respect. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who fail to recognise that their behaviours and choices must sync with the image they are trying to project. Otherwise its all window dressing. Dress how you want to be addressed.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a marriage counsellor neither am l a love guru but l believe taking good care of yourself can go a long way in your relationship or marriage. I’m not saying looks are a prerequisite for a successful marriage or a happy relationship. Why would l, I mean we age as each second passes and our looks alter slightly with each fleeting moment. But the truth is, men more than women are visual creatures. They are influenced by what they think is attractive.

Unfortunately, as the years pass by, the effort to look good gets harder, especially for most married women. Normal aging, effects of child birth, impact of stress and illness, all conspire against us. But you can make an attempt to look your best at any age. Baby girl, don’t ever make a mistake of thinking that looking good doesn’t matter when u get married.

The world rewards beauty or presentability, be it in business, school or simply social interactions. In as much as being beautiful is a matter of genetics and chance, looking good and dressing well is all about personal efforts. Your image at work is important. You can transform your position, responsibilities or even your title by just focusing on being more presentable. Promote yourself in your mind. If you were one or two levels above your current paygrade or position, what would you say, do, wear and act?

So, to all my queens out there, dress well, maintain a healthy diet, read good books, moisturise your skin, keep your body in shape, take long walks, wear clothes you are comfortable in and fall in love with yourself. I know looks aint everything, but have them just in case. Above all, don’t just be a book with a great cover, have a great story inside!

XOXO